Relationship PIES - Physical

This is the second in a multi-part series of articles.

When we talk about physical relationships, we're often talking about sex. The phrase "physical relationship" usually implies just that. But what about relating physically? PIES is an attempt at getting us all to think about the breadth and depth of relationships. Relating physically includes all aspects of our existence as physical beings, and we're certainly physical beings.

When we relate physically, we include handshakes, kissing, high-fives, hugs, sports competition, tickling, hiking, dancing, and even sex. Each interaction causes us to relate to someone in a particular way. Shake someone's hand and you've knocked down a certain barrier with them. Compete with them or against them in sports and you have a different kind of relationship. Every type of physical interaction that we have with someone influences the sort of relationship that we have with them.

Consider too the fact that there are ways of relating to people that exclude physical interactions. The telephone, the internet, the written word; these are means of relating that exclude the physical. They can be dangerous to a relationship when they are its cornerstone because they artifically alter the balance of a full and complete relationship that properly explores and affirms itself in all four aspects of PIES.

Just as physicality is a critical component of a healthy relationship, so to is the balance of the other aspects of PIES. A relationship that is exclusively physical is an unhealthy relationship. The intellectual, emotional and spiritual aspects of a relationship must be balanced with the physical. This is why a relationship that explores sexuality - the most intimate form of relating to someone physically - is fundamentally unhealthy if it does not also have the same depth of intimacy in intellect, emotion and spirit. Balance is the key.

An inherent danger that is unique to the physical and the emotional is that they are both somewhat "under the radar". We are told by our bodies that we are physically attracted to another person and are given that "urge to merge", to make children and propagate the species. It is only by social pressures or personal control that we walk through a balanced relationship that leads to not only the creation of new life, but the proper development of that new life by two committed parents.

When you are considering your relationship with someone, consider the full gamut of physicality. Hug your relatives. Shake hands with acquaintances. Kiss your children. Love your spouse. They are acts that viscerally reaffirm or extend the relationships that we have in our lives. They're a necessary part of a healthy relationship. Just remember to balance them in a full PIES relationship.

Next time, relating intellectually.