Wrath and Meekness

Before I start this article, I have to confess that I botched this series. I said that I would be talking about the cardinal virtues. In fact, I am discussing the capital virtues and capital sins. The cardinal virtues are those of prudence, justice, temperance and fortitude. And the big boys of virtue, the theological virtues, are faith, hope and love (or charity).

The capital sin of wrath is a pretty easy thing to understand. We see it all the time. People are just so dumb sometimes, aren't they? They make you mad. They make me mad. There's a very natural inclination towards venting that fury at somebody or something. We yell, we scream, we turn silent, we brood, we walk off, we get in somebody's face. We do lots of things that we normally wouldn't do, and usually end up apologizing for, all because somebody pushed our buttons.

Just what is a button, anyway? I don't mean by example. We all have many examples of these sorts of buttons. I mean categorically, what's a button? A button is an action or a situation that causes a person to reaction emotionally. Vehemently so. Getting mad is one reaction to having a button pushed. That's wrath stuff.

So how does that relate to meekness? When I think of meek people, I think of "meek and mild". Boring. Without any drive, or energy. Except that we just learned in the last article, that lacking drive is a form of sloth. Combine zeal with meekness and you've got something.

Meekness is a kind of forbearance. A tolerance. An ability to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune without blowing up in somebody's face about it. Bending without breaking. Practiced perfectly, it means that when some man calls a woman fat, the woman looks at her body, considers where it is fat, and accepts whatever truth there might be in his words. That, despite the fact that he's calling her fat in order to push her buttons. He wants her mad. He wants to hurt her. Meekness says that she won't go there.

This is classic vice/virtue stuff. A vice is predicated in temptation to do something that is not loving, but somehow viscerally satisfying. A virtue is predicated in looking beyond the temptation and in seeing some kind of truth that is better and finer - and ultimately more rewarding - than giving into the temptation of the moment. Meekness overcomes wrath just as chastity overcomes lust, or any virtue overcomes any vice.

So how do we develop our sense of meekness, given our desire for wrath? You know the answer, because it's always the same in these discussions: love. Why do we not get mad? Because it isn't a loving act. And while we're not getting mad, we can do something useful, such as respond to that mean-spirited man with a comment that actually helps him in some way. Instead of the wrathful means of responding with "Oh yeah, well you suck!", you could say something like "You're trying to make me mad, aren't you?" That may seem like a dumb comeback, but the purpose of the response is not to score points in an unpleasant exchange. That's still wrath poking its head out for a look. The purpose of any response from a meek individual is to reach out to the one who is pushing their buttons. Clearly, if they're trying to push somebody else's buttons, then they must be on Button Time themselves. They had a bad day at the office and they're venting. So help them to recognize that as well as you can and nudge them towards meekness.

I don't want to go too far into the topic of trying to reach out to others because it requires a lot of skill to do right. But ultimately this remains a discussion of love. The meek understand that Button Time gets you nowhere useful. It's a bit like Random Time, because wrath can send you just about anywhere. You get mad, you vent, somebody else gets mad, they vent back, things get emotional, friends try to soothe things out, and the soap opera is off and running. It's a terrible waste of time that could be used for loving acts. Those loving acts would try to consciously help others towards a specific destination, instead of some random, all-over-the-place kind of experience. Those soap operas just go around and around, like a carousel. Loving acts try to steer straight to a goal of greatest happiness.

Before closing, I should undoubtedly allay any thoughts of the practice of meekness being one of letting people walk all over you. If you are letting people walk all over you, you aren't helping them. They have a problem with respect and with loving others. If you have any sense of loving your fellow man, you'll do something to get them on the right track. Insisting on respect from them would be a good start. For both of you.

The next time somebody starts pushing one or more of your buttons, practice your meekness. Think of how to do something constructive in the situation. Constructive. Loving. Don't spend that thinking time coming up with a clever comeback that puts the other person down. Use your virtue of meekness to consider how to best bring out the best in those who push your buttons. "Love your enemies."

Sloth and Zeal

Given the topic, this article should have followed hard on the heels of the last one, but I was busy with other things. You'll have to take my word on that.

So now the vice of interest is sloth. What is sloth? As always, look to the virtue to understand it. Zeal is a forcefulness, an enthusiasm, a drive. But for what? In the virtuous sense, zeal is an enthusiasm for love, for other people, for their happiness. The most dynamic people in the world have that virtue. They don't just hope that somebody has good things happen, they act to make sure that they do happen.

If that's zeal, sloth becomes pretty obvious. Vices are the absence of virtue, so someone without any enthusiasm and drive to pursue the well-being of others is being slothful. The vice of sloth is usually associated with some lazy good-for-nothing who sits on the couch all day. Sure, that's slothful, but not just because that person is being physically lazy. The physical side is a lesser sin. The complete lack of interest in acting in a loving way towards others is the greater sin. It is far more debilitating than simple laxity.

Consider the man who is constantly on the go, running his business and seeking out new ways to improve his product. A man of great passion and zeal, right? Not if he's doing it all because it just fills his time. If he just wants the money. That might be greed, but it's also sloth. When it comes to acting in a loving way towards others, the man is a couch potato. In truth, sloth covers a lot of ground because it is so fundamentally a simple lack of love. There's no maliciousness or hatred involved. Just a lack of love. It's a tragic vice.

So why have zeal? How could anyone develop zeal for loving other people? It's hard enough trying to deal with just one person or a family. Loving everyone is a ludicrously tall order. Isn't it?

Of course not. All it takes is the right beliefs. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you view other people as a collection of cells run by a computer, how much credit are you giving people? They're just fancy machines running some computer program, devoid of any true virtue or greatness. If they're not machines, then they're mean, nasty, often explosive crazies. Or they're emotionless robots that can look right through you and ignore you. You might be thinking "Which one of those am I supposed to have zeal for?"

Have zeal for all of them. Why? Because of the potential that each one holds. Just as a child has the potential to become an Einstein, a Mozart or a Mother Theresa, any person you meet has the potential for zeal, modesty, generosity, chastity and so on. We love others because we know that they have that potential and that it is simply unrealized. The more firmly we hold that belief, the greater the zeal that we have for loving others. Mother Theresa of Calcutta had it. Pope John Paul II had it. Ghandi had it. And those are only the most public figures. Surely you know people who have great zeal for loving other people. It pours out of them like a flood no matter where they go. That's because they see people as inherently worthy of their efforts - making it no effort at all.

The next time you're faced with the decision about whether or not to greet the guy or gal you walk by every day on your way to work, summon your zeal and not only greet them, but put a sparkle in your eye and a smile on your face. Show them the magnificence of being human.