Wrath and Meekness

Before I start this article, I have to confess that I botched this series. I said that I would be talking about the cardinal virtues. In fact, I am discussing the capital virtues and capital sins. The cardinal virtues are those of prudence, justice, temperance and fortitude. And the big boys of virtue, the theological virtues, are faith, hope and love (or charity).

The capital sin of wrath is a pretty easy thing to understand. We see it all the time. People are just so dumb sometimes, aren't they? They make you mad. They make me mad. There's a very natural inclination towards venting that fury at somebody or something. We yell, we scream, we turn silent, we brood, we walk off, we get in somebody's face. We do lots of things that we normally wouldn't do, and usually end up apologizing for, all because somebody pushed our buttons.

Just what is a button, anyway? I don't mean by example. We all have many examples of these sorts of buttons. I mean categorically, what's a button? A button is an action or a situation that causes a person to reaction emotionally. Vehemently so. Getting mad is one reaction to having a button pushed. That's wrath stuff.

So how does that relate to meekness? When I think of meek people, I think of "meek and mild". Boring. Without any drive, or energy. Except that we just learned in the last article, that lacking drive is a form of sloth. Combine zeal with meekness and you've got something.

Meekness is a kind of forbearance. A tolerance. An ability to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune without blowing up in somebody's face about it. Bending without breaking. Practiced perfectly, it means that when some man calls a woman fat, the woman looks at her body, considers where it is fat, and accepts whatever truth there might be in his words. That, despite the fact that he's calling her fat in order to push her buttons. He wants her mad. He wants to hurt her. Meekness says that she won't go there.

This is classic vice/virtue stuff. A vice is predicated in temptation to do something that is not loving, but somehow viscerally satisfying. A virtue is predicated in looking beyond the temptation and in seeing some kind of truth that is better and finer - and ultimately more rewarding - than giving into the temptation of the moment. Meekness overcomes wrath just as chastity overcomes lust, or any virtue overcomes any vice.

So how do we develop our sense of meekness, given our desire for wrath? You know the answer, because it's always the same in these discussions: love. Why do we not get mad? Because it isn't a loving act. And while we're not getting mad, we can do something useful, such as respond to that mean-spirited man with a comment that actually helps him in some way. Instead of the wrathful means of responding with "Oh yeah, well you suck!", you could say something like "You're trying to make me mad, aren't you?" That may seem like a dumb comeback, but the purpose of the response is not to score points in an unpleasant exchange. That's still wrath poking its head out for a look. The purpose of any response from a meek individual is to reach out to the one who is pushing their buttons. Clearly, if they're trying to push somebody else's buttons, then they must be on Button Time themselves. They had a bad day at the office and they're venting. So help them to recognize that as well as you can and nudge them towards meekness.

I don't want to go too far into the topic of trying to reach out to others because it requires a lot of skill to do right. But ultimately this remains a discussion of love. The meek understand that Button Time gets you nowhere useful. It's a bit like Random Time, because wrath can send you just about anywhere. You get mad, you vent, somebody else gets mad, they vent back, things get emotional, friends try to soothe things out, and the soap opera is off and running. It's a terrible waste of time that could be used for loving acts. Those loving acts would try to consciously help others towards a specific destination, instead of some random, all-over-the-place kind of experience. Those soap operas just go around and around, like a carousel. Loving acts try to steer straight to a goal of greatest happiness.

Before closing, I should undoubtedly allay any thoughts of the practice of meekness being one of letting people walk all over you. If you are letting people walk all over you, you aren't helping them. They have a problem with respect and with loving others. If you have any sense of loving your fellow man, you'll do something to get them on the right track. Insisting on respect from them would be a good start. For both of you.

The next time somebody starts pushing one or more of your buttons, practice your meekness. Think of how to do something constructive in the situation. Constructive. Loving. Don't spend that thinking time coming up with a clever comeback that puts the other person down. Use your virtue of meekness to consider how to best bring out the best in those who push your buttons. "Love your enemies."