Cold?

I am. Winter is decidedly not my favorite time of the year. I like late spring, early summer, here in the D.C. area. I'll take a summer in Seattle any day. But winter? It should be fired. Oh sure, it gives the Australians an excuse to have summer, but whose idea was it to tilt the planet anyway? That was a Bad Move in my opinion. If the planet just spun upright, we'd have these bands of perfect temperature in the northern and southern hemisphere. We'd just put a whole bunch of solar power generators at the equator and leave it at that. But I digress.

This article isn't about improving yourself. It's not about sociological factors that go into a preference for peanut butter over jelly. It's not even about axiomatic elements of a belief that the world is, in fact, flat. It's about my gift to you of a little warmth.

How good is your imagination? Can you feel the hot sand on the soles of your feet, forcing you to ouchouchouchouch your way back to your blanket? Can you feel the sun forcing you to squint against the glare of a hot summer sun, holding your hand to shade your eyes while you bemoan the fact that your sunglasses are either in the car or on the counter at home. Can you feel the heat of the sun beating down on you, making your skin hot to the touch? Can you smell the spring and summer flowers bursting their way into full bloom? Fragrances of honeysuckle and lavender, mixed with that unique rainy smell of a storm on-the-way.

No? Remember that last trip to the water park to battle the summer heat? Standing in lines in your bathing suit with the sun drying the water from the last ride you went on? The smell of chlorine everywhere, and the feel of the warm white concrete walkways as you walk from ride to ride?

No? Still stuck for a feeling of being warm? Okay, it's time to break out the big guns. Modern technology to the rescue, I give you a roaring fire.

Stay warm.